I seek my happiness within you.

In the quiet of the night, when all is still
My thoughts wonder about my future.

Though middle age is upon me, I still think with youthful fervor of a love I have yet to receive.

I want to find a quiet spot, at the end of the day to put my hat upon.
With you by my side as we talk about the toils of our day.

How sweet and wonderful those thoughts are,
Dreamlike, perhaps they are just that, a dream.

Though I don't know what the future may bring,
Wraths of winter, or bliss of spring,

I will keep seeking my happiness in you.

A snowy friday morning

A snowy Friday morning and I'm sitting on my breakfast table, watching the flakes fall from the nude branches of the elm tree.

The whirl of a distant fan, a gentle din breaking  the silence of an otherwise quiet day.

You rang me just to say hi early in the morning. I couldn't have asked for a more wonderful wakeup call.

In a long time, I am finally at peace within myself. Happy and content, but somewhat afraid that in a flip of a moment, this can all go away. 

But when one has known so many heartaches,  the anticipation of it doesn't phase me anymore.

I know not, how long this will last, but as long as it does, I'm still happy. 

Or So I Thought...

How does the saying go...

Some people come into your life for a reason, some a season, some a lifetime.

However long it was, be thankful for the gifts,

Or so I thought,

You'd be my shield, my sword, my garment.

My friend, my brother, my beloved,

You'd be there in time of my need, in yearnings , in joy and sorrow.

As I was for you,

Or so I thought.

How your words sweet at the time, those smiles sly, full of mischief,

Left to crumbles of lies and deceit, bonds broken, betrayal treasonous.

I saw you again tonight, like two ships in a night passed, I had nothing in my heart for you...

Or so I thought.

Upon my birthday

How soon hath time passed that I miss,
The follies of my once youthful bliss. 

All I have from this point forth to own
The prospects of self created renown

For youth is fleeting but wisdom doth reign
May all my days henceforth blessed remain. 

So Many Things Left Unsaid

As you left me,
I watched you walk
In the gallant way that you always do
steadfast, resolute, firm,

And I was left thinking, yearning for you behind...
So many things left unsaid.

The laughter, the cries, the joys we shared, the sorrows we tried to,
But to no avail.

There are times when my heart weeps for you,
And there are others when the wrathful torments that fill me want to burst out and vent their fury upon you,
But I cannot.

I love you still as I did then
And I always shall...

So many things left unsaid.

The first time we met,
The brilliance of the blue that you wore,
The sparkling of the golden strands of your hair,
In the autumn sun, sublime, so subtle,
pierced my heart by the hazel starbursts in your eyes,
I remember those moments still,
Though they seem now a lifetime ago...

So many things left unsaid.

I started to write a letter to you,
to reclaim my passion for you,
to refrain from my hatred for you,
to remain in my love for you,

Yet, so many things left unsaid.....

Pride

The sea of colors, sights and sounds
Joyful glorious profound
In the meaning of this day I astound
Happy faces abound
Floats and buntings all around
Such is the day of pride I found.

I stood upon a corner side
Watching the worldly splendor go by
On mechanical Steads and ship they ride
In awe in fervor I stride

Though the memory is fresh of the horror
I must resolve to always remember
Those before me and those to come after
And be blessed in this moment forever and ever

For I shall rise a king.

For I shall rise a king, by the nobility of my character,  it's strength and might.
Not by any birthright.

I shall rise a ruler, just and gracious,
Not a wanton sire of lands vast and spacious,
As far as the spread of the light.

I shall accord justice in my dealings
With Prince and pauper alike,
For haughtiness is not in my feelings,
I'll strive to do what is just and right.

I shall hold high, the righteous honor,
of those that strive in their toil and sow,
the seeds of goodness and verity,
and keep the fruits of their labor
with rectitude and pride, and humility.

I write this not as a boastful decree,
but a humble plea, a prayerful verse
to urge my reader to carefully see
that character of goodness makes me
a servant of men, not a master of serfs.